Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Depression is funny

After having a great weekend trip to San Marcos to see my family, and a very successful date with someone in Austin that I'm looking forward to spending more time with whenever I'm down that way, you'd think I'd be happy... yet I find myself slipping toward depression.

I think it's because I'm in limbo right now. I have to finish this semester before I can consider moving, but I'm probably going to be here until the end of this year while finishing school and packing up house to make the move. Knowing that I have to continue for an undetermined time in a job I don't care about is like a dead weight on my shoulders. I think it's the perception of my helplessness to make the changes I want to make now that is sending me on that downward spiral. I'm finally looking toward a future that isn't bleak, and I want to get to it right now!

So I'm committing myself now to doing at least one thing every day to reach one of my goals. It could be working out to work on my goal of getting more fit. Or, I can perform some task related to my ultimate relocation, such as putting something up for sale on eBay, or packing up some things I know I won't be using anytime soon, or going through things and deciding what to donate or discard, or researching information for my enrollment in grad school. I have so many things I can be working on right now that will make relocating much easier if I get them done ahead of time. I tend to do better at things that I'm avoiding (for whatever reason) if I commit myself publicly to them, so here it is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Woo! Go you! You're now officially committed! ;)

Seriously, that's what I do when I'm depressed too - I just make sure that I do something important every day, so I never feel completely helpless. Sometimes I try to increase the number of things, but as long as it's one, I promise not to give myself any shit.

*Great big hug*